It’s a thing…

Cch217

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‘Walter’ a short story that I wrote is included in this wonderful anthology with some other outstanding authors.

If you would be so kind as to check it out, it would be most appreciated. Megan 💙

‘Acid trips and ominous emails. Jumbled job interviews. Tiny alcoholics and teacups. Dead flowers and times of war. Befriended objects and reversed horrors. These are just a few of the surreal tales found within these pages. Collected from the most obscure authors, A Land Without Mirrors is an anthology worthy of any short story lover’s shelf.’

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A Rambling Blog About Books

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I am by no means a constant or avid reader, if a book holds my attention then I will read it. However this doesn’t occur often. That being said, what follows is a brief list of authors and books that I have read recently.    

Richard Chizmar

https://richardchizmar.com

A Long December

Gwendy’s Button Box

I stumbled upon Richard Chizmar’s work because of his collaboration with Stephen King. I am glad that I did he has a raw talent for twisting the narrative of a short story. I devoured A Long December and am looking forward to getting my hands on The Long Way Home.  

 

Cori Lynn Arnold

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5807555.Cori_Lynn_Arnold

Northern Deceit

Scalding Deceit

I know Cori Lynn Arnold from college, I know her in passing, one of those friend of a friend acquaintances. It took me awhile to get around to reading her work. But when I finally did I was not disappointed, I started with Northern Deceit and it sucked me in, the environment, characters and the fact that she wrote about where we had grown up was strangely nostalgic for me. I then read Scalding Deceit which was also entertaining and gave more backstory for the characters.          

 

Ken Bruen

https://www.goodreads.com/series/50920-jack-taylor

Jack Taylor Series

Ken Bruen’s Jack Taylor Series is also something that I stumbled upon while hanging out at libraries and thumbing through the mystery/thriller section. There are now fifteen Jack Taylor books the last one set to be released in November of 2019. I have read eight of them, so far, enjoyable, immersive stories that you can get lost in.   

 

Chad A. Clark

https://twitter.com/ChadClarkWrites

Tracing The Trails: A Constant Reader’s Reflections on the Work of Stephen King

Then there is this, I consider myself a ‘Constant Reader’ of Stephen King’s works, so I figured I would check this interesting take on King’s works by Chad A. Clark. I consider it an indepth look at all of King’s works. Personally I don’t dissect fiction on such a level, writing, especially fiction, is a form of artistic expression, in my opinion. Open for interpretation, so what you get out of it, isn’t what I get out of it. All Art is Subjective. That being said, Chad A. Clark’s take on King’s work is interesting enough to read, (honestly one of those things I read when I couldn’t sleep.) I just don’t agree with some of his conclusions.

 

Flight or Fright: 17 Turbulent Tales

Edited by Bev Vincent

http://www.bevvincent.com/

This was an outstanding collection of short stories all with the running theme of  ‘while on a plane’ I enjoyed all seventeen stories. I highly recommend this collection, just may not want to read it while flying.

 

To close this rambling post about books and authors I am going to list some of the other wonderful storytellers I have discovered over the last few years,  I recommend checking them out.

Marc Watson

https://twitter.com/writewatson  

Death Dresses Poorly

Catching Hell

A Land Without Mirrors: A Collection of Fantasy and Surrealism by Fluky Fiction

 

J.M. Sullivan

https://twitter.com/jmsullivanbooks

Alice (The Wanderland Chronicles #1)

Second Star (Neverland Transmissions #1)

 

Scott Thompson

https://twitter.com/sthompsonauthor

Eight Days

The Confederate  

 

Paige Lavoie

https://twitter.com/MrsPaigeLavoie

A Girl Called Monster

Confidence: The Diary of an Invisible Girl

 

Mark Lumby

https://twitter.com/marklumby1

Most of Me

Bag of Buttons

Rats in the Loft

 

Neil Christiansen

https://twitter.com/WriteGavinGayle

http://www.gavingayle.com/

Murder Ballad

Bishop Church

 

Alex K. Logan

https://twitter.com/AlexKLogan

Thor’s War

 

Some of my other blog posts about reading and writing.

https://cch217.wordpress.com/2019/03/01/special-guest-jm-sullivan/

https://cch217.wordpress.com/2018/11/05/question-of-the-hour-why-do-you-write/

https://cch217549678581.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/history-of-a-constant-reader/

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Megan Hinde

 

Descending the Spiral Staircase

Cch217

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“I’ll take that,” Detective Benjamin Knowles said, gently removing the freshly discharged revolver from Maria’s hands. She had an utter look of confusion on her face as her eyes rolled back in her head and her knees buckled.

“Catch her!” Benjamin said to Officer Roberts. He caught her and laid her on the sofa.

“Well this is quite the mess,” Benjamin said looking over the crime scene that they had walked in on.

~ ~ ~ ~

Maria Olson had worked for Mr. and Mrs. Miller for almost ten years. She kept their single level ranch style home in order, cooking and cleaning. The house was nicely situated at the end of a cul de sac in the Highlines suburb. Mr. Jonathan Miller worked in real estate, specializing in commercial properties found around the city.

He had fallen in love with the ranch style home with large backyard and…

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Question of the Hour Presents: Faces on Mixer

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The Questions:

Why do you stream?

What do you get out of it?

Where do you see it going?

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

The Answers provided by our awesome streamers on Mixer: Before we dive into their answers a Streamer is someone that live streams creative content, be it video games, tutorials, art projects or discussions.

A huge thank you to everyone that participated in answering my questions.

 

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Superblake:

https://mixer.com/superblake

https://twitter.com/superblake_01

Why do you stream?

I stream because it’s the exact same attitude I normally have when playing games and I’ve always like entertaining people. It also gives me a chance to connect with and talk to people, which I genuinely enjoy.

What do you get out of it?

Honestly? Next to nothing beyond personal satisfaction. My goal is to provide an entertaining environment for people to chill out in and watch some cool games. Obviously I have stuff like Meaty Boiz Esports which is a little more involved than that (competitive esports requires a lot of off stream work), but I don’t get paid to do this. I have as much fun as I can and try to play as many video games as I can, for as many people that want to hang out!

Where do you see it going?

I see streaming being the next big internet content machine. Live content creation is a super strong medium and it provides a unique experience for the audience, so there’s not a lot there to slow it down. For me personally? I’d love it if I could say I was a professional gaming personality, with my primary content coming from my streams. It’s already an awesome thing to get to do every day, but if I could somehow get paid to do it and develop a marketable corner of the internet for myself that’d be fucking fantastic too.

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

Streaming is sort of what I thought it would be. I grew up performing in live shows, so streaming to an audience seems like a natural fit, right? But forging those connections to small communities over the internet through a webcam is completely different.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

Having a tight group of friends/mods. I don’t like thinking of them as ‘policing’ chat or games but a lot of the time to keep things enjoyable for everyone, it’s necessary. I also don’t think of chat as my audience, more like a group of friends over at my house causing a ruckus and having a good time.

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

Honestly a big deterrent is the cost/return of streaming as a whole. To have a good, not even great, but a good stream I think you should invest money into a proper mic, computer, graphics, etc. You can succeed and start out without that stuff but it’s important to improve your stream as a whole over time. And honestly, I spend 30-40 hours a week making consistent content for free for an audience that I actively try not to monetize. If you are getting into streaming to “get rich quick” you might want to make sure you don’t quit your day job.

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

I think streaming as a career isn’t sustainable. Eventually personalities will fall as new content rises and being a personality is a very limited time thing. Moving laterally from streaming into hosting, creating other content, even working in community management is always going to be a more long term move.

 

 

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Tasty Lemons:

https://mixer.com/TastyLemons

https://twitter.com/TastyLemons_

Why do you stream?

I have played a lot of competitive multiplayer games over the years with many different people. Naturally a lot of shenanigans were had in all of these interactions over the years. I decided to share those moments by streaming them. Beam had just switched to Mixer at that point, and had integrated directly with Xbox, so it was easy to just pick up and start streaming.

What do you get out of it?

I stream purely as a hobby, so I get the enjoyment of just being able to share all of these moments with others. Gaming prior to streaming was my main outlet to relax and unwind. Now I can still relax and unwind while sharing the laughs, stories, and crazy moments that seem to occur when I launch games.

Where do you see it going?

Quite honestly I do not have much of a plan going forward. Getting partnered was a rather large step but there is still a lot of room for improvement. Just a constant battle to refine the stream and provide the most entertaining experience I can for my community. My concentration is less so on expanding but providing a more quality stream for my existing community.

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

I never had much of a notion or an idea of what streaming would be like prior to giving it a go a few years back. Truly I just kind of hit the go live button once and just winged it from there.. I can say it is considerably more work than I would have thought, but as is with any hobby/career if you enjoy the work then it does not feel so straining.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

The people. Whether it is people within my own community, other communities, other streams, Mixer staff, people at conventions, etc. The people one can meet through streaming are generally great. Not only do I often game with a lot of these people now, on and off stream, but I actually hang out with several of them in the area I live in. Never would have met them if not for streaming.

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

For me life is a big deterrent since I only stream as a hobby. I have to manage my full-time career, social life, other hobbies, and raising my small corgi child along with streaming. This is made more difficult by the fact that keeping a consistent schedule is one of the most important parts to having a successful stream. Streaming is also more than just the several hours a week you spend live. You have a ton of hours each week sunk into managing your overlays, bots, etc as well as coordinating co-streams or events with devs.

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

I absolutely think streaming as a career will continue to grow. Now, I think some people use the term ‘full time streamer’ a little loosely. Being able to become a full time streamer able to support oneself at this point takes a ton of time, effort, networking, and plain luck that is on par with becoming a professional athlete. The platforms supporting this are growing and e-sports is booming right now, but people need to understand that it is a tough career.

 

 

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Kirsche

https://mixer.com/Kirsche

https://twitter.com/KirscheMixer

Why do you stream?

I stream because of the people who come and hangout with me. The relationships I have built over the past three years. The other streamers I have seen grow and the communities they have built. It has been an amazing experience. I will be honest, I don’t have many people in my life. I find a lot of that ‘human’ connection through streaming. I know there are others like me and I want to make a place where we can all feel connected. We can laugh, cry, be weird and all of those other feelings together. There will never be judgement against someone for what they like or love. I LOVE to experience new games with my community. I love the reactions, the salt, the laughter that we share together in our experiences.

I could have the worst day in the world. I could be super down with depression. You know those days where you just want to hide in bed and sleep all day? I could be in a state of  “fuck, I don’t want to do this tonight.” I could be “I just want to quit.” I go live because of you! The people who come to hangout and support our community. I see those who support me in the shadows and you do not go unnoticed. My community is why I stream. The people, the friendships, the relationships and our history. As soon as I go live, even those nights I don’t want too and I see messages in chat. That makes my night. That brings me up and makes my day.

What do you get out of it?

Note: some of this question is answered above. When I can make someone smile or feel at home, that is what I enjoy the most. I love it when someone new joins, a regular stops by or someone comes back from a several month break and they say I made their day. I have been gaming a long time. I have been a part of and I have seen a lot of toxic environments. I wanted somewhere I could be myself and others be themselves. Somewhere where we can support each other and feel ‘safe’. When someone joins and they feel that way, it is so rewarding. We as a community gave give each other shit and laugh about it. We support and bring each other up when we are down. That is worth more than all of the subs and dono’s. You cannot put a price on relationships.

Where do you see it going?

This is a hard question. I don’t know. I want to do more things with my stream. I love to fish and would love to do an IRL fishing stream. There are many challenges producing that type of content solo. I also would love to do IRL yard work streams. I need a camera man haha!

Other than that I don’t know where we are going or what I am going to do. I am going to keep doing what I am doing now and make changes as I go. Make changes as the industry shifts. The streaming industry is so dynamic it’s hard to put a plan in place. Audience changes, game types change, and trends change. In a way I have handle my career outside of streaming like this. I had a plan to finish school and get a job, but that was it. I made and took opportunities as the came up. I made the best of them and have been successful. That is my plan for streaming. I’m going to make opportunities where I can. I will take advantage of all of the opportunities that come my way. You never know what will come of something you do or the people you meet.

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

Simple answer, no. I have watched streams for a long time. As a viewer you have a totally different perspective of what streaming is, until you do it. You think of, he/she plays a game and gets paid. Why can’t I do that? It’s a lot of fucking work. Starting out you know nothing. It’s not easy to just start up a stream and go. You have to learn a lot about technology, configuration, software, hardware, stream presence, relationship building, engagement, and the list goes on. It’s simply not just playing a game. There is so much work to do before and after the stream. There is work to be done on your off days. Some streamers take days off so they can work more! There are relationships to keep and build. There are new things to research and study. Your work is never done in the changing world of streaming and entertainment.

One thing new streamers don’t understand is that it takes time. It takes years of work. I have been doing this for 3 years. If I look at my job, I have been in IT for 16 years. In that perspective I am still a novice. I know a lot but there is so much more to learn. There is always someone else who knows something you don’t. Make those relationships and grow with each other. I can’t wait to see where I am at in 5 years.

There is this quote from @JaredFPS that resonates with me all of the time. I am paraphrasing this and I’m 100% certain I am wrong but he said “When you sleep I grind.” It’s the truth. The time you spend on something else (i.e. not your stream) others are grinding hard to get above you, to get above others. This a good thing. Competition is a good thing. What this means is you have to be always be ready for change and move with the punches. Streaming isn’t easy. To me you always have to learn, learn from others, learn from yourself and be honest with yourself. Stay away from the drama and other bullshit. People see that and remember that.

I have a lot more to learn. I continue to learn each day.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

I spoke a lot about this above. The beneficial side to streaming is the relationships.

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

The people who have used me and who use others is a huge deterrent. As soon as you get a decent following people will come to you out of nowhere. They will want to work with you and expect things from you without telling you. I have seen this happen a lot to others. I have had mods who modded for their gain. I have had people come in to support me for their gain. It’s quiet easy to see them now and when others try to do this to me and to other streamers. After a while you learn the pattern, you learn how people talk to you to get something.

The unfortunate thing is it makes me close up a little bit and question everyone I meet. Why are they here, why are they talking to me? I really hate it. I also feel the same when I reach out to other streamers. Are they going to think I am trying to use them? That is one deterrent or hurdle.

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

I most certainly do. I stream maybe three hours a night five days a week so I keep my sight on long term growth. Long term being 5-10 years, and I’m three years into streaming on Mixer. This is a hard question to answer for me to be honest. I enjoy what I am doing now. I really love the people who support me every night. So for me, growth would be to maintain this moving forward. I would, of course, love to bring more into the community. We have a tight-knit community and I am really grateful for what I have.

 

 

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PieRatKing:

https://mixer.com/PieRatKing

https://twitter.com/PieRatKing

Why do you stream?

I stream because I want to share the enjoyment of video games with others, and I have always enjoyed entertaining people. And I am freaking hilarious!!! j/k

What do you get out of it?

Filling a hole deep inside of me through the feeding of my narcissism? No, but really I get to entertain people, meet people, talk about things I love, and a sense of accomplishment. Along with learning skills that I have always wanted to, video editing, graphic design, animation: these are all things I have only learned because I have been streaming

Where do you see it going?

A household name, a statue in downtown Houston, and millions of dollars… no, I see it going to a place where I can sustain myself but also offer me different avenues to share my opinions, and other crafts with people that it may not have before. Believe me we all wish we could be six figure content creators, but most of us just want to do something we enjoy doing and be able to sustain ourselves.

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

Streaming is a lot more taxing, and hard work than I had originally thought. Between always trying to find out what direction to go, to trying to improve the experience. A lot of time and effort is put into streaming, and I know I can always do better.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

I have found that it has boosted my confidence and releases a lot of the social anxiety I have. It also gives me a place to share myself with others, and obviously I am the best damn thing since sliced bread!

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

Numbers. Always the numbers. It is the one thing I always have to remind myself is not the most important thing. I have to keep from getting down on myself about not getting enough viewers, not getting enough follows.

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

Yes, but it will become harder to get into and do the more it grows. Those who got in earliest and stuck with it are going to have the longer career. Up and comers are going to have a harder time breaking into it, and will rely on big splash over consistent growth. Just my two cents.

 

 

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Kitty_haz_Claws:

https://mixer.com/Kitty_haz_Claws

https://twitter.com/Kitty_Haz_Claws

Why do you stream?

like most people, I love playing video games, I was introduced to Twitch by a friend of mine who said to me, hey this guy is streaming and if he gets 10 viewers he’s going to buy a pizza for someone in the chat! So of course I went to watch; who doesn’t love free pizza! Needless to say, he lied about the pizza, and he was horrible at entertaining the chat. I instantly thought, holy buckets.. this guy (the streamer) is sooo bad, I can do this SO MUCH BETTER. So, I did a little research and started up he next week! Needless to say, I ended up being a lot better than him.

What do you get out of it?

I get to be social with people, be a daily part of their lives and truly get to know people. I love being able to start up a stream and truly making an impact on someone’s life. I was sent a PM few years back how someone in my community was thinking about suicide but ended up in my stream, and ended up changing their mind because I reminded them that life is always in motion, every day is a new chance at life and it’s okay to feel down.  

Where do you see it going?

I’ve been a partner for over 3 years, so you really can’t get much bigger than that; but I absolutely love showcasing unique indie games that I find. I love being able to play the weird and bizarre. I hope more devs figure out that I’m Mixer’s Indie Game Streamer and together we can work on showcasing their beautiful and weird games. 🙂

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

Yes & no. Yes because I went into it purely for a social aspect of it. To game with friends. No because I didn’t realize all the work and effort it takes to stream. All the offline work, all the networking, all the commitment it requires if you want to become anything.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

I’ve found that I can be connected to people from all over the world and have friends in nearly every time zone. I’ve discovered games I never knew I’d enjoy and gaming with people I never thought I’d typically game with.

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

The biggest deterrent in streaming is the lack of knowledge in mental health that most streamers have. Mental health is so important and it’s something I thought I had a handle on and obviously after nearly 5 years of streaming I don’t have a handle on it. People need to not be afraid to step back and focus on themselves.

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

I think streaming in general will grow, as a career…. I really don’t know. Not many people can stream and make a true career out of it. It’s so unpredictable and varies drastically from month to month. Most all the Mixer partners still have full time or part time jobs to help cover all the bills and day to day expenses.

 

 

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The Last Mage:

https://mixer.com/TheLastMage

https://twitter.com/lastmagetv

Why do you stream?

When I first started streaming I was doing it to try to make it a career. I think a lot of people, if not most, start out this way. Some find their crowd and this thought process continues. For me, I tend to stream a lot of indie games, rpgs, and lesser known titles that, naturally, don’t get the number of eyes that battle royale games may get. I started to realize after many months of beating myself up over numbers, that in the end it’s about the people who show every day to support you and have fun.

So, (this will be an unpopular opinion for many partnered streamers) I’ve stopped looking at this as a career. It’s a community to me, and I don’t expect to earn back even a tiny bit of what I put into it. My entire goal is to put a few smiles on peoples faces, be there for them when they run into tough times, and to build a community that persists even when I’m not online. My goal is to try to remember what everyone is doing outside of the stream, to check up on them after difficult school tests, and just generally be there for people.

What do you get out of it?

I’m at around 3 years of streaming now, and it’s helped me in many different ways. Many of these I never saw coming and could never have predicted. First, of course, I’ve made a ton of friends. I’ve met many of them at conventions in person and it’s comforting to know that many of them would have my back if something ever happened. I’m not talking about fist fights or online arguments, but serious things like money issues or medical issues. These are true friends and just like the friends that live near you, they’ll support you if you run into tough times.

More than that, after working on Firebot for so long I’ve met many talented developers who have taken me under their wing and taught me a ton. My actual career skills have improved significantly because of that. Also, I’ve learned a lot about just general social situations. I’m a VERY introverted guy and streamer has taught me how to step out of that shell. It’s taught me how to have a fruitful conversation with nearly anyone about nearly anything.

Where do you see it going?

Well, that’s a really hard thing for me to predict. As I said at the start, because of the games I tend to stream I don’t see the stream skyrocketing in numbers or turning into a career anytime soon. But, what I would like to do is grow enough to get new eyes on some of the mostly underplayed games out there.

Other than that, I hope that the stream continues to grow and that the community continues to build with it. It’s a very hard thing being a PC / PS4 streamer on a service almost entirely built around Xbox, but I still feel I’ve made the right choice. I’ve made too many great friends for it to have been a bad thing. I just hope Mixer continues to expand, continues to push the idea that it is a multi-platform system, and continues to innovate. Then, sooner or later, I think that indie crowd / RPG crowd will show.

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

I had spent a lot of time in and around streams before starting my own. I think for the most part streaming was what I expected it to be. What I didn’t expect was how exhausting it can be sometimes. Streaming for 8-10 hours some days can be absolutely grueling because you need to constantly keep up an active and thoughtful conversation for that entire time. For those who don’t stream, picture sitting down with a stranger in a coffee shop and talking to them for that long while trying to keep silence to a minimum.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

I’ve met all sorts of friends, some of which will probably be lifelong friends. These types of connections are incredibly important. Not just for benefits centered around streaming, but real life as well. For example, I met a ton of friends while streaming who have taught me an incredible amount about development. Because of that I was able to land much better jobs and improve my life overall. As far as directly related to streaming, I think running a stream is VERY good practice in everyday social skills for the most part. Words can get you far and streaming is good practice for stringing those together on a whim.

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

The biggest deterrent to streaming is probably the thing that lets me stream in the first place. The day job. If the day job takes a lot of energy and effort, that can really show on stream. A stressful day job can

result in all sorts of bad things from being tired to losing your temper. Because of that, I try to always keep at least an hour between work on the stream where I can try to clear my head of everything.

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

I think, in general, streaming will become more and more popular as time goes on. People will always be able to make a career out of sharing what they love, be that games or anything else. Streaming fits right in there with that.

 

 

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Sithos:

https://mixer.com/Sithos

https://twitter.com/Sithos_?lang=en

Why do you stream?

So the primary reason I stream is for social fulfillment. Before I streamed I was relatively anti-social, but through streaming I was able to develop my social skills to the point where I have even done things like run 20+ person team meeting for various jobs I have held.

What do you get out of it?

What I get out of streaming, is something that I can be truly passionate about and really develop my skills and talents on a consistent basis. It gives me something to look forward to on a weekly basis and makes my life much more enjoyable.

Where do you see it going?

As far as where do I see it going, I can only hope that this will one day lead to being something I can focus on full time and comfortable pay my bills/support my family. Up until this point, that hasn’t quite been the case, but I am proud of what I have accomplished so far and do see the potential for that to happen at some point. For now I am continuing to strive to improve in the hopes I can hopefully make that occur sooner rather than later.

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

I didn’t have any specific expectations going in with streaming. When I started I was primarily streaming one specific game so I really got to learn everything at my own pace. That being said, streaming is a lot more difficult and involved to do well than I expected initially.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

Streaming for me has primarily been a form of social fulfillment. When I started streaming I considered myself fairly anti-social. Over the course of my streaming career I’ve become much better spoken, confident and engaging. I’ve even had instances where these skills have translated into on the job skills running trainings and meetings for large groups!

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

For me the biggest deterrent has been watching other succeed due to taking advantage of others or abusing/bending rules for their own success. I’ve tried to stay as true to my core values as possible even after becoming Partnered on Mixer. Going forward I really hope to see more genuine individuals succeed and people doing scummy things be held accountable more often.

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

Absolutely yes, especially with the rise of alternate platforms. I know of streamers that are going full time on Twitch, Mixer, Facebook, DLive. The industry is continuing to grow at a rapid rate and I’m very excited for the future of broadcasting.

 

 

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DragynsLair

https://mixer.com/DragynsLair

https://twitter.com/dragynslair

Why do you stream?

The answer to this has changed over time. In the very beginning I dabbled in streaming on Twitch because it was new technology to me. I also believed it could be useful for guild events in our Final Fantasy 14 guild. When we found it wasn’t really all that useful I hung it up. A couple years later my wife and I decided we were going to travel and she wanted to document it on YouTube. Since, from a technological standpoint, streaming is similar I started streaming again to relearn all the tech involved.

While watching one of my favorite Twitch streamers I stumbled onto Beam. After a couple weeks I made the switch and started streaming there instead. I fell in love with the community and the positive and helpful disposition that was illustrated there and wanted to be a part of it. My drive to stream has become meeting and having a good time with people of similar interests that I would have never had the opportunity to meet otherwise.

What do you get out of it?

The short answer here is my community. Over the last few years I have met many amazing people and have had the opportunity to interact with a variety of other groups/communities. I enjoy and value the time I spend with those that choose to spend their time with me.

Where do you see it going?

Ultimately as long as there is a platform for me to stream on I have no intention of stopping. My goal is for my content creation to reach a break-even point and maintain that break-even point. Being a Mixer Partner has allowed me to come pretty close to realizing that goal.

Is streaming what you thought it would be?

Honestly, yes. There were a few minor surprises, but those all came from coming to Beam and entering into a very supportive and open community. My original interests were purely technical so I had no expectations going in. By the time I decided to grow a community I had already learned much from the communities I had become a part of on Beam.

What have you found beneficial in streaming?

I have made many friends that I consider to be lifelong friends that I would have never met if I wasn’t streaming. My community also is very supportive on an emotional level which helps during difficult life events.

What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

The deterrent for me tends to be low self esteem and low self worth. I sometimes wonder why people want to watch or hang out. Why they bother with me. If I’m having a low number day that tends to feed into it.  

Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

Streaming is young. Like everything, big companies try to find a way to capitalize on it. Do I think it will grow, yes. Do I think that anyone hits the go-live button will be able to make a living off it, no.

 

 

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Halios00:

https://mixer.com/halios00

https://twitter.com/HaliosGasinova

Why do you stream?

I stream for multiple reasons. Ever felt like you don’t have a place to relax or belong and forget the world? Or maybe you want a place that you can continue to see new content all the time and not worry about seeing the same thing on a daily basis. Or maybe you want to make some friends and have a good discussion, like you would at any bar or gathering with people? These are major reason I love streaming and started The Tavern.

I loved the connected feeling I felt when I visited a community I loved to talk to while watching some interesting figure play whatever they did. I get the chance to meet people I never would otherwise, talk to them, share a laugh or a story, and not feel alone. I also get the chance to potentially turn this into a full time thing for the future, where I can provide even more content and hopefully more smiles for everyone that comes into the stream. That’s the ultimate goal!

What do you get out of it?

I love streaming and never want to stop. From playing to cooking to sometimes just sitting there and chatting, streaming is my nightly stress relief and my get away from a ridiculous world. While the strive for success can bring a lot of stress, the ultimate satisfaction of having some place I am loved and make new friends all the time is worth it every time. Even when I’m dead tired from the day, I look forward to logging in and joining everyone.

It can be tough, especially with being overnight. It doesn’t work with a ton of schedules and honestly I could probably switch tomorrow to a more normal 6-9 schedule at night, maybe even grow faster than I do now. But I refuse to change something so drastically and turn my back on the people that have supported me through and through. The community is important above all.

Where do you see it going?

I think a lot of factors have helped streaming grow and I don’t see it going anywhere as long as the content stays fresh. Viewers still grow yearly so it continues to provide. I think people will start to take notice that streaming is a legit career someday soon and it will become a whole different ball game, especially with the rise of esports that has been happening. WAIT FOR IT!

 

Once again Thank You all for participating, and if you are a streamer on Mixer and would like to be added just let me know. – Megan Hinde

https://twitter.com/cch217

One Hour at a Time

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“We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.”  Well not quite, although being on ‘something’ would make going back into retail work at 42 years of age a little easier. Before we dive into this I think we need a little backstory. I have worked in the retail industry before, many times before over the last 21 years, however working a part-time sales associate position in your early twenties is a whole different ball game than in your forties. You do it the first time for the experience so that you have more than ‘Babysitter for Aunt Kathy’ on your resume while finishing school, be it High School or College. Honestly my first experience working in retail was not bad, I learned a lot, had good managers and I enjoyed my co-workers. I was offered a Department Manager position and gave the, “I am going back to school next semester, to finish, so no thank you.” answer, of which I did go back for another year I just didn’t graduate from college. Now after being out of circulation for the better part of fifteen years, because I was able to stay home and raise my family, I have gone back to work, into the same type of job that I had during my first time as a sales associate in retail. Since going back I have come up with many questions revolving around why do people choose to work in retail. Now before I go into my thoughts and feelings on this, I do appreciate the people that work in the retail and service industries, it’s something that I can do, and I have done, I just don’t like doing it.      

I now give you…

100 days in retail hell-aka- sucking your life away one hour at a time

Every retailer has a different set of ideals or ‘rules’ this is one such set up:

Our Culture/Values and Behavior are as followed:

Service to the Customer

Respect for the Individual

Strive for Excellence

Act with Integrity

It’s all well and good, as long as you realize that it’s not going to be followed or up heald one hundred percent of the time.

A few of the questions that are on my mind:

Why choose to live and die by the clock?

How does one stay in one place for a lifetime?

The wear and tear on one’s body and soul, is not worth minimum wage, part-time hours, with no benefits.

I am all for hard work however, at what expense-injury/exhaustion/loss of family time.

In the beginning-it was good, learning the ropes, finding out the rules, responsibilities and expectations. They have a good sales pitch, I will give them that although after being part of the daily grind for 90 days you start to see it. There are people that work in one position, the ones that comes in same time, same day for so many years. I get it they are comfortable, it’s predictable they know the routine and what is expected of them and they don’t see any reason to advance any further. Personally I can’t do that, that’s like living in a cage and doing the exact same thing over and over again, it would drive me crazy. Then there are the people that start at the bottom and move up quickly into a management or supervisor position. These are your ‘bossy’ playground children, that enjoy directing traffic and telling others what to do. I also don’t think I could do this. I am the middle person, the one that knows what’s going on, knows how to answer the customers questions and can get the stupid little tasks done for each day. I work the floor so I know where everything is, or where it should be, and I don’t mind my job. It’s enough to keep me busy without having to much responsibility.

With all that being said, here are some of the customers questions that I have had:

Do you have earring backs?

Do you have jewelry boxes?

Will this stainless steel gold plated necklace turn my neck green?

Can you fix this:

Replacing watch batteries

Links in watch bands

Pins in watch bands

Can you resize rings?

Are simulated diamonds real diamonds?

If I buy this tennis bracelet will others have the exact same one?

Where are your:

Wallets

Handkerchiefs

Bandannas

Scarves

What size should I get a 7 year old girl?

Why isn’t there a boys size in between a size 16 husky and men’s size 29?

I need the earrings for migraines in a 16 gauge, don’t you have those?

Do you have those things that you put on your ring so that it doesn’t fall off?

And of course:

Do you do nose/bellybutton piercings?

I do have a smart ass, inappropriate answer for just about all of these. But there is that whole Service to the Customer and Act with Integrity thing so, if you want me to post my answers in the comments let me know.

And as always I thank you all for reading my incoherent rambling of words.

*I’m pretty sure I have lost a bit of myself by going back to work in Retail Hell*  

 

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One Hour at a Time-Part 2

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. -Oscar Wilde

Here is a breakdown of my typical day in Retail Hell:

I clock in at 12:51pm, (because I can clock in nine minutes early for my scheduled shift) I go walk the floor, straightening clothing racks and picking up things that are in the wrong place as I go. I see whos working and what’s going on for the day, sometimes there is new stuff to be put out, other times it just ‘clean up, straighten, and process returns’.

I get handed the Jewelry counter and Fitting Room Keys and am for the most part left to ‘do my thing’. Sometimes I am called up to cashier, because that’s fun. I’m supposed to take two 15 minute breaks, one around 3pm and the other at 7:45pm, as well as a one hour lunch off the clock usually around 5:30pm. For my first break I have to wait till someone comes in at 3:30pm to give them the keys, I have to take my lunch before the five hour mark, (I’m scheduled to work 1pm to 9pm) so five hours in is 6pm. At 6pm I am locked out from using the cash register and I get flagged if I don’t clock out by 6:09pm for lunch. Which means I get half a point on my attendance record. Quick education on the attendance policy, if you call out for any reason you get 1 point against you. If you clock out late, which for me is 9:09pm you get half a point, if you are late coming back from lunch or going to lunch you get half a point. If you call out on one of the ‘Event Days’ (which is any holiday, New Years Eve, New Years Day, Valentines Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, ect…) you get 2 points against you. If you get 5 points against you in six months you are fired, for violating the attendance policy. If you are sick you are not allowed to go home, if you are injured on the job, you are not allowed to go home, till the end of your shift. They will assign you ‘busy work’ if you can’t do your regular job.

Back to my point, I’m a Sales Associate in apparel, which covers the Jewelry counter, Accessories, Women’s, Men’s, Boy’s, Girl’s, Infant’s and Shoes. (That is a lot of things to know about each department) I help customers find things, answer questions and sell Jewelry, as well as watch over the fitting rooms and process returns, and I now know how to replace watch batteries. Which is a skill that I never wanted. (Quick note on returns it is policy to always put anything back on the floor for sale regardless of condition) So unless it’s covered in blood it goes back on the floor for sale, just think about that for a second before you go shopping at your local ‘Big Box Store’. I also have to do anything that a Department Manager, Assistant Store Manager or Store Manager tells. Which is usually be a cashier, or go clean or straighten other departments within the store.

My point to this is that I am usually the only one on the floor covering all of apparel and I am constantly being paged to be in three places at once, which sucks. But I digress. I’m 100 days in to working this lovely retail job, my biggest problem is the fact that I am paid to clean up the same mess all day everyday, and I find it very asinine. Yes, I know ‘but it’s job security’ I am also real tired of hearing that from my Department Managers, (that appear to do nothing all day, but tell me what to do)

Am I burned out, cynical and negative? Fuck yes, I wasn’t when I started in November, I was helpful, open minded, ambitious, I worked 8 weeks straight at 40 hrs a week, (which included Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas Eve and New Years Eve) and never called out. But 100 days in Retail Hell has made me more aggressive and negative about everything. (and I hate that. I am a non-confrontational, laid back person) I have called out a few times, because my sanity (and need of sleep) is more important than the $64 I earn a day.

I am going to attempt to wrap this up a lighter note, so here are my sarcastic answers to the questions that I am asked on a daily basis.

Do you have earring backs? Yes if you purchase any of the thousands of earrings in front of you.

Do you have jewelry boxes? No, that would make to much sense.

Will this stainless steel gold plated necklace turn my neck green? Fuck if I know.

Can you fix this:

Replacing watch batteries. Sometimes, who the hell still wears a wrist watch.

Links in watch bands. Not really.

Pins in watch bands. Sometimes, depends on the age of the watch.

Can you resize rings? No, but we can send them out and you can get them back in four to six weeks.

Are simulated diamonds real diamonds? Seriously how is this even a question. Or I don’t know is simulated sex and real sex the same thing.

If I buy this tennis bracelet will others have the exact same one? Only if you hang out with others that buy overpriced, low quality jewelry from China.

Where are your:

Wallets.

Handkerchiefs.

Bandannas.

Scarves. The answer to all of these is go fucking look and you look with your eyes not your hands.

What size should I get a 7 year old girl? Kinda depends on how big or small she is, next time bring her in.

Why isn’t there a boys size in between a size 16 husky and men’s size 29? No fucking idea, bring your child in and have them try things on. Or buy a tape measure and take some measurements.

I need the earrings for migraines in a 16 gauge, don’t you have those? No this is not Target.

Do you have those things that you put on your ring so that it doesn’t fall off? No, there this thing called Amazon. Or Try buying a ring that fits.

And of course:

Do you do nose/bellybutton piercings? Only if you would like a free staph infection to go along with it.

Ok that’s all I have. I wish you all a wonderful Morning/Day/Evening/Night.

 

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One Hour at a Time -Part 3  

You all ready for this…

Walmart’s net worth is just over $386 billion.

I tried to find a quote to open with, however every approach I was taking felt overly negative. We all know that consumerism, advertising, retail work is all a vicious game of Work, Eat, Sleep, Pay Taxes and Repeat. I want to wrap up this little series of articles by sharing my experience of working in Retail Hell. (Yep, I lasted only 110 days)

So here we go, during my last week of working Monday through Friday from 1pm to 9pm as a Sales Associate in apparel I became exhausted, dehydrated, stressed out, unfocused, and lacking nutritional food, sleep, and self-care, I was done. All these factors lead to me becoming sick, the kind of sick that requires a doctor and a prescription for antibiotics. By Thursday and Friday of my last week I could feel that something wasn’t right, I was unfocused, irritable, grumpy, I felt off, I also kept dropping things, which is flat out annoying. By Monday morning I knew I was sick, I had a fever/chills, pain in my lower abdomen and pain in my back, around my kidneys. Now to be exact I had an Urinary Tract Infection, which is painful, uncomfortable and annoying as fuck. So I treated the symptoms with over the counter meds, drank a ton of water and 100% cranberry juice. Managed to find a clinic, and see a Nurse Practitioner by Wednesday afternoon, was diagnosed with a UTI and given a prescription for antibiotics, (which I paid for out of pocket) The thing that I find asinine is that I work to earn money, (to better my daily life) which makes me exhausted and sick so that I have to then go pay a medical professional to prescribe me drugs to combat an infection I shouldn’t have ended up with in the first place. If my working conditions were to provide free drinking water, (the germ laced water fountain doesn’t count) and better access and availability to the restrooms. (side note, almost every time I took a break to use the restrooms, the custodian had it blocked off and closed for cleaning, and of course there aren’t any ‘employee’ restrooms only the public ones) My bottle of 14 pills cost me four hours of work, fyi I was making $12.50 an hour. I am sure that I am rambling a bit, but my blog my words. I am feeling better but it will take another full week, complete cycle of antibiotics, and rest to get back to being myself. As life is always an unforeseen series of adventures, I get to go deal with the fact that we don’t have any hot water and that there is standing water in the basement of the house that we rent. So wish me luck and have a good day.

 

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One Hour at a Time -Conclusion

I have gone back and forth as to if I was going to wrap this up in anyway or just walk away from it completely. Since I am back to more of myself since leaving the world of Retail Hell I will finish this up.

“No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride…and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well…maybe chalk it up to forced consciousness expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten.” – Hunter S. Thompson Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I got sick violated the attendance policy and assumed that I would be fired. Since they made such a huge deal about the new attendance policy. Apparently not, after missing seven shifts the HR person called me. After thinking this through for a while, I was an adult and called her back. It was a lot of blah, blah, blah from her side, ending with can you come in today. Seriously they are so hard up for bodies at work, they rolled my attendance violation back to 4.5 points, so that I would come back. So I gave them three days a week, I wanted Tuesday-Thursday 1pm-9pm, they gave me Wednesday-Friday 1pm-9pm.

I went back to work for two weeks. By the second Friday back I was beyond done. Upon my going back almost no one spoke to me, (unless they needed me to do something) not the Department Managers, not the Assistant Store Managers and most of my coworkers all gave me the cold shoulder. Now not that I was friends with any of them, but it went from a daily civil ‘Hi, how are you.’ to nothing not even eye contact. Which then leads me to question why in the fucking world would I continue to be here.

So when it was time to take lunch on Friday I got my jacket, cleaned out my locker, clocked out for the day and left the building. On the Friday of Spring Break, and a payday week. After missing another six shifts the HR person called me again, this time I didn’t return her call. Funny side note I have an app for my work schedule, (because of course there is) they post the schedule two weeks out, so this last schedule has me Tuesday-Thursday 1pm-9pm. WTF people. Needless to say I’m done. I hope you have all enjoyed my trip back in to Retail Hell, I do thank all of you for following, reading and commenting. I look forward to continuing my journey of Weaving Words of Fiction.

Reflection

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All About Me

It was a dark and stormy night…

I was born in Pullman Washington, the day after Mother’s Day, May 10, 1976. There were compilations, I had two seizures and spent two weeks in an incubator.

My parents…

My mom was born and raised in Seattle and my dad grew up in Wenatchee WA. They meet at Washington State University in Pullman WA in 1973. They were married on June 22, 1974.

My dad worked in radio he had a BA in journalism and communications. I have a photo of him performing in a play called “Under Papa’s Picture.”

My mother has a masters degree in early childhood development and has mainly worked for non-profits as a case manager testing children’s learning abilities.

My brother was born January 14th 1980, a healthy baby boy named Chip. In May of 1981 my parents moved to Alaska. McGrath AK, in the middle of nowhere.

Where my dad ran the public radio station KSKO 870 am and my mom worked for various social work agencies. She also tried running her own daycare for a while. Needless to say it was a isolated, structured upbringing, school, work, activities ect..

My youngest brother was born November 12th 1982, Marcus. In 1988 we moved to Fairbanks AK, where my dad was unemployed for two years while my mom worked (he wrote a sci-fi novel) while unemployed. Side note I never got to read it and it’s lost forever, at least to me.

In 1990 my dad went in for an interview at a radio station, and ended up  being News Director of KTVF an NBC affiliate in Fairbanks. My dad suffered his first heart attack in September 91.

In April of  1992 I got to travel to New York and sing in Carnegie Hall with my high school choir, I was 15 years old.

In November of 92 my mom moved out, she left. She also let a con-man of a boyfriend move in and bleed her dry financially and emotionally. He ended up marrying some girl he met online after spending five years with my mom.  

My dad got remarried May 22, 1995 to a strange German lady he met pen-pal style that was from New York. On Tuesday June 13, 1995 after returning from his honeymoon my dad was having chest pains and went to the hospital. He refused treatment and signed out AMA Wednesday afternoon, on the morning of Thursday June 15 he suffered a massive heart attack and passed away around 1:15 am. My dad’s widow was nice enough to hold his funeral on Father’s Day.

The insurance was a mess, because I was an adult, (I was 19) and my brothers were minors and my mom was divorced. My dad had never added his new wife, I got my share in cash and my brothers were set up with a guardian account my mother being the guardian. The money let me go to school and move away from my mother.

I went to the University of Alaska Fairbanks, (the piece I wrote called Tripping Through My Memories is the first semester after my dad died) I didn’t finish, I ran out of money and didn’t see a point in it at the time. I also meet Mike at UAF. He helped convince me to move out and live my own life. (with him)

For a while Mike and I both worked, we had friends, roommates came and went. In August of 1998 Marcus got sick, he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer that was already consuming his neck and lungs. My mom took him to Seattle’s Children’s Hospital and they resided in the Ronald McDonald house. My mother never spoke to me directly about what was going on, I heard everything second hand through Chip or my Grandmother. He passed away April 30 1999.

On December 13 1998 I got on a plane by myself and flew standby into Tulsa OK, a friend from high school lived in Stella MO and I went to stay with her. In February I got Mike to also join me in Missouri.

We worked, then I got pregnant with Christopher and flipped out, (mainly from the morning sickness.) We drove to Michigan to see Mike’s parents. Ended up living in Michigan for seven months, both of us working part-time and making no money.

Mike had a friend on-line that said come to Colorado there’s better work. So March 2000 we (me at eight months pregnant) drove to Denver CO. We made things work in Denver for two years, moved outside of Denver to Greeley. Where roommates made things worse and we went back to Michigan. November 02 to November 04 we made it work in Michigan, Mike working me taking care of Christopher, we hung out with Mike’s parents they were bowlers.

November 04 we moved back to Denver (in with the same friend from 2000) and made it all work once again for three years. Side note February 13, 2005 Mike’s dad passed away and we took a quick trip driving back to Michigan for the funeral. November once again in 06 we left Denver and drove to Kansas City, Kansas, which is where Mike’s younger brother was at the time.

At this point I do realize that we have a pattern of moving on average every 2 years 10 months. Optimism that the grass is greener on the other side or that there is something more or different to experience. We hung out with Mike’s brother for two weeks it was crazy and strange, we ended up back in Stella, MO (of all places) We needed shelter and that was the only friend I had at the moment. (the friend from the Reach piece with the cats) So more craziness, that lasted till March 07, at that point we pack up and drive west, thinking Seattle but making it to Ogden UT, and re-evaluate. Mike’s dad was Navy so he has lived everywhere even overseas and in Iceland. When he was 14 his dad was stationed as a recruiter in Grand Junction CO. So we ended up there March of 2007. First time we were homeless and had to learn things as we went.

I learned a few things the hard way but it all ended up ok, Mike got to work and we had a decent apartment. Grand Junction CO a small 60 thousand ish population, college town, boom bust town because of the oil and gas industry. Mike was making good money and we were stable, then the bottom dropped out. April of 2009 everyone every where was laid off, we made unemployment work and I worked at a assisted living facility as a residential aid, I lasted a week.

June 2010 we could no longer pay rent and drove to Denver, thinking we had one more unemployment payment, (we didn’t) we had to sleep in our Jeep, I found a family homeless shelter program, we did four week in that program, during the second week someone hired Mike to help paint fences and do landscaping and odd jobs.

We moved into a motel, with weekly rates $220 a week. It was gross, bed bugs and all. Crazy people ect… We lived there for two years. (WTF why did we stay so long) Mike worked in the tire industry almost always in the 20 years I’ve been with him, and it takes a toll on you, physically. He has also gotten hurt quite a few times on the job. Another factor to moving so many times always looking for something not so strenuous.

June 2012 we left Denver and drove back to Grand Junction, getting on our feet a little quicker this time because we knew what needed to happen. Once again making it work for three years, then burnout and exhaustion of putting up with stupid people we moved to Seattle.

*I haven’t updated this and probably won’t*

 

Looking Back

It’s my Birthday and it’s my blog so I am going to ramble a bit about life. When I was born on May 10, 1976 my dad made sure to keep the Newsweek magazine of the same date. He put it in my baby book and it’s still there. Full of cigarette, alcohol, and car ads, a piece of history.

A couple other things I have from my dad, are two copies of the weekly newspaper that he helped put out when we lived in McGrath Alaska and he was manager of the radio station KSKO. The two copies that I have I was given by my Grandma when my Great-Grandma passed away, they were sent to her by my mom, they have pictures of the 4th of July parade that me and my younger brother Chip participated in. The other issue has pictures of me and my 4th grade classmates from a class trip to Anchorage Alaska. I don’t remember a whole lot about that trip except that they took us out for a nice Chinese dinner and then took us to the carnival. That’s a bad combination, for a handful of  10 and 11 year olds, a few got sick.

I also have a few postcards and a letter that my dad wrote me while I was away at Girl Scout Camp, yes I was a Girl Scout for a few years. My mom was our troop leader, we sold cookies, earned badges and I attend Summer Camp two years in a row. Camp was interesting, first year I had a counselor that read us Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye, which was a short story titled General from his Night Shift collection. The second year I managed to fall, trip down a hill and smack my right hand into a tree, thus spraining three fingers. I am not really one for outdoors.

The other letter I have from my dad was one he wrote for my choir teacher, she had all the freshman choir students do a sleepover and had the parents write letters. My dad’s letter to a 14 year old me is one of my prize positions.

Then there’s the prom picture and graduation photo. The guy I went to prom with is the guy I lost my virginity to, also the graduation photo had to be airbrushed because I had a hickey. Then there was high school graduation, I don’t recall a whole lot from the actual ceremony, except that my cap fell off while the senior choir members, me being one of them, were performing.  

The the last two photos are of me and my Grandpa, one of the only pictures I have of the two of us. And my self portrait that I did for my photography class in college, which is me in my dorm room.

Like I said rambling to you all as I flip through a box of memories.   

 

Reach

I am just going to start and we will see how this ends up, I keep some notes I wrote while being homeless last summer, so here it goes.

How to be homeless—find all the resources you can 211 information line is a wonderful start. You will need a phone book, (I stole one out of the motel we stayed in) and a detailed street map. (Had to buy one for $7 at a Fred Myers) Find a shelter program get all the local information possible. Things like where to shower and where you can use the bathroom.

Salvation Army feeding programs, hot meals or bagged lunches. Locate food banks and church pantries. Some shelter programs have communication issues between their staff and volunteers. Day Shelter vs Overnight Shelter- Rules know all the rules, find out the rules. Especially if not told up front, don’t break the rules. Engage the staff learn the routine.  

Sitting at a park, because hello, public bathrooms, which are very important to the lost wanderer. Listing to the constant traffic, planes taking off and landing repeatedly and the buses that run every 10 minutes all day every day. The city is loud, since being here I haven’t heard any silence. ( I miss the quiet)

Why do we –people make life changing decisions based on emotion? Where does that deep seeded feeling of wanting to find something better come from? You’re here it’s stable live your nine to five day job life and be grateful for what you have. Even if your not happy or healthy.

Nope- there are those of us that jump without a safety net, maybe we are delusional or crazy, or we just haven’t found where we are suppose to be. Maybe we have to venture out of the box to know that existing in the box is OK.  

It’s the little things, like privacy, getting to be naked in your own space, being able to cut your hair or toenails, without an audience of strangers around. The bathroom- that you take for granted- is the place you miss the most. I give props to this particular public park for its upkeep. Although having the bathrooms closed on the 4th of July was a bit annoying.

So you pack up your life into your vehicle, one of the things that you own outright and you drive. You have a point B in mind however the point B is never what you expect it to be. How is it that people that are given, a stable life ie- a house, money, a place to come back to, squander it. I am sorry but you have a house- that is now trashed, with stuff.

Two cases first a girl I meet in Jr. High now lives out in the middle of nowhere, because that’s where her parents retired to, was given land to put her home on and she managed to bag an internet husband. (I know harsh, but seriously) So he works she stays home and sleeps almost all day every day. In a nice four bedroom two bath house that is completely trashed, because she’s depressed, a pack rat (hoarder) and then there are the animals (oh my god the fucking animals) To many cats to count, a hand full of dogs and some full size aquariums all living inside.

All I want is four walls, a ceiling, floor and plumbing that works. A place that I can be safe, happy and clean. To raise my family in and to be able to enjoy our life.

Second case- eight years after witnessing the sad state of the first friends living conditions, we ventured out to our point B once again someone I knew back in High School that I had reconnected with over the lovely world of social media during the last few years. So we stop by and once again here is a house- totally trashed- by laziness, hoarding and depression. This person has two kids, a few cats, a dog, and her mother all living in what use to be a very nice house, with tons of potential.

Crazy, maybe I am missing something, are there more people living this way than I am aware of? Or am I just a little too OCD- with wanting the daily functions of life to be clean and organized.  I am not making labels for every shelf but I am wanting laundry done, dishes done, floors clean, general straightening up of the living space, and a clean bathroom.

But NO I am the one sitting on hard, cold metal bleachers, looking out at a softball field, listing to the constant traffic trying to figure out how to get back to a status of OK.  

 

Poetry

Clarity of Thought

What does it mean,

to think, to understand,

to reflect, to learn.

Why does your heart lean one way

and your mind the other.

good and evil,

right and wrong,

clarity of thought.

Understanding the feelings that pulse through my mind,

Why is one right and the other wrong.

I can’t clear my mind enough to get the time that I need to catch my breath.

My body is tired and rundown, exhausted.

But my mind is awake to everything.

Ready to pounce upon anything that comes it’s way.

How can my mind be so energized and my body so tired.

I have no clarity of thought.

I don’t know or understand why my feelings are so mixed and conflicted.

I am mad at the world but at the same time I want everyone’s sympathy and compassion.

 

Never

I have never seen a sunrise over the ocean.

I have never kissed a sweet loving kiss, that tasted of warmth.

I have never been loved with the love only found in a peer.

To be all these things is my only request.

That before my dying day I find trust and love.

To kiss to have the warm breath of another against my lips.

As sweet as honey, yet as pure as a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

To feel his warmth move through me, to have his lips linger upon mine.

Like the morning dew on the petal of a rose.

To hold his hand in mine, firmly but gently.

Protecting me from heartache.

The love I’ll find within him.

If only he’d let me.


Friend

Why I consider you a friend,

You are always there to listen,

Not to judge and criticize.

To enjoy the good times,

And to get through the bad.

You’re the only one who hasn’t left me.

And when you do leave for various periods of time,

You always come back.

I feel that you’re the only one who cares,

About me for who I am,

And not what I’ve done or might do.

You have helped me unlock and open,

So many hidden doors.

Thank you for being a friend, I love you.

You’ve shown me more compassion and trust,

As well as showing me more of what life has to offer,

Than anyone else.


His Eyes

His eyes are the color of the wide open sea.

His deep yet sententious voice,

Has the power to captivate me,

His hair shines like gold beneath the warm midday sun.

Be it through the gates of heaven,

Or the red hot flames of hell,

It is him that I follow.

And without his love, compassion and friendship.

I would have been lost.

He holds me safe from the cold cruel world.

He fills my soul full of life,

And my heart full of love,

That it sends me soaring like a dove.

He is honest with me,

And I am true to him.

I shall be his and he shall be mine,

For now and for all time.


Life is Like

Life is Like…
A dozen roses, all standing straight,

Full of beauty, an arousing aroma of peace,

A symbol of love and respect.

But only stay for a short while,

It brings feelings of happiness to a lonely heart,

Then fades away, so quickly to remind us

How limited our time is.

It fades away, losing a little more beauty each day,

From a bright bold color,

To a darker duller stain of color.

Its leaves dry and crumble to the surface of a table,

To be brushed away.

Its petals wither, curling the corners,

To shrink slowly in the midday sun.

Till it drops, fallen over, given up on itself.

Allowing gravity to take over,

And finally it dies.

Showing how soon we forget about time,

And the value of our own lives.


No More

I use to be happy and carefree,

But then something happened.

Something that made me not want to feel anything anymore.

My father died and everything changed.

From the moment the phone rang at 12:45 am,

My world was put on a roller-coaster.

All I felt from that point on was hurt and sorrow.

I am tired of feeling all these feelings of pain,

It has made me numb to any and all other feelings.

All I want is to be able to depart from this roller-coaster.

That all started the night the phone rang.

To have no more sadness and no more pain.

To have a time that is quiet and calm to be able to sort these feelings out.

To find my balance and clarity of thought.


Who am I…

Who am I?

Why am I so sad, why do I need to be held and comforted?

Who am I to ask such a selfish question?

I have always taken care of everyone else around me,

So why does this person, this stranger want to help me?

Someone not worth helping, I don’t deserve anyone’s help.

All I want right now is my dad,

I want him to hug me and to say that he loves me.

Why am I left to suffer from his selfishness?

He left me for his own happiness.

I don’t ever want to hurt someone that way.

Which is why I am always taking care of those around me and not myself.

I am afraid that if I stop to take care of myself and am happy,

That I may be hurting someone else with my happiness.

So where do I fit in? When will it be my turn to be happy?

Who am I and where do I belong?

Question of the Hour: The Ups and Downs of Streaming

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First off the questions:
1. Is streaming what you thought it would be?
2. What have you found beneficial in streaming?
3. What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?
4. Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

And now the answers from some of my favorite people:
A huge thank you for their participation and willingness to answer my questions.

PieRatKing

https://mixer.com/PieRatKing

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1. Streaming is a lot more taxing, and hard work than I had originally thought. Between always trying to find out what direction to go, to trying to improve the experience. A lot of time and effort is put into streaming, and I know I can always do better.

2. I have found that it has boosted my confidence and releases a lot of the social anxiety I have. It also gives me a place to share myself with others, and obviously I am the best damn thing since sliced bread!

3. Numbers. Always the numbers. It is the one thing I always have to remind myself is not the most important thing. I have to keep from getting down on myself about not getting enough viewers, not getting enough follows.

4. Yes, but it will become harder to get into and do the more it grows. Those who got in earliest and stuck with it are going to have the longer career. Up and comers are going to have a harder time breaking into it, and will rely on big splash over consistent growth. Just my two cents.

The Last Mage

https://mixer.com/TheLastMage

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1. I had spent a lot of time in and around streams before starting my own. I think for the most part streaming was what I expected it to be. What I didn’t expect was how exhausting it can be sometimes. Streaming for 8-10 hours some days can be absolutely grueling because you need to constantly keep up an active and thoughtful conversation for that entire time. For those who don’t stream, picture sitting down with a stranger in a coffee shop and talking to them for that long while trying to keep silence to a minimum.

2. I’ve met all sorts of friends, some of which will probably be lifelong friends. These types of connections are incredibly important. Not just for benefits centered around streaming, but real life as well. For example, I met a ton of friends while streaming who have taught me an incredible amount about development. Because of that I was able to land much better jobs and improve my life overall. As far as directly related to streaming, I think running a stream is VERY good practice in everyday social skills for the most part. Words can get you far and streaming is good practice for stringing those together on a whim.

3. The biggest deterrent to streaming is probably the thing that lets me stream in the first place. The day job. If the day job takes a lot of energy and effort, that can really show on stream. A stressful day job can
result in all sorts of bad things from being tired to losing your temper. Because of that, I try to always keep at least an hour between work on the stream where I can try to clear my head of everything.

4. I think, in general, streaming will become more and more popular as time goes on. People will always be able to make a career out of sharing what they love, be that games or anything else. Streaming fits right in there with that.

Sithos

https://mixer.com/Sithos

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1. Is streaming what you thought it would be?
I didn’t have any specific expectations going in with streaming. When I started I was primarily streaming one specific game so I really got to learn everything at my own pace. That being said, streaming is a lot more difficult and involved to do well than I expected initially.

2. What have you found beneficial in streaming?
Streaming for me has primarily been a form of social fulfillment. When I started streaming I considered myself fairly anti-social. Over the course of my streaming career I’ve become much better spoken, confident and engaging. I’ve even had instances where these skills have translated into on the job skills running training’s and meetings for large groups!

3. What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?
For me the biggest deterrent has been watching other succeed due to taking advantage of others or abusing/bending rules for their own success. I’ve tried to stay as true to my core values as possible even after becoming Partnered on Mixer. Going forward I really hope to see more genuine individuals succeed and people doing scummy things be held accountable more often.

4. Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?
Absolutely yes, especially with the rise of alternate platforms. I know of streamers that are going full time on Twitch, Mixer, Facebook, DLive. The industry is continuing to grow at a rapid rate and I’m very excited for the future of broadcasting.

Kitty-haz-Claws

https://mixer.com/Kitty_haz_Claws

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1, Is streaming what I thought it would be? Yes & no. Yes because I went into it purely for a social aspect of it. To game with friends. No because I didn’t realize all the work and effort it takes to stream. All the offline work, all the networking, all the commitment it requires if you want to become anything.

2. What have I found beneficial in streaming? I’ve found that I can be connected to people from all over the world and have friends in nearly every time zone. I’ve discovered games I never knew I’d enjoy and gamed with people I never thought I’d typically game with.

3. The biggest deterrent in streaming is the lack of knowledge in mental health that most streamers have. Mental health is so important and it’s something I thought I had a handle on and obviously after nearly 5 years of streaming I don’t have a handle on it. People need to not be afraid to step back and focus on themselves.

4. I think streaming in general will grow, as a career…. I really don’t know. Not many people can stream and make a true career out of it. It’s so unpredictable and varies drastically from month to month. Most all the Mixer partners still have full time or part time jobs to help cover all the bills and day to day expenses.

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The Cutwright

https://www.twitch.tv/Cutwright

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1. Is streaming what you thought it would be?

Nope. When I first started I thought of these ideals of “Loud people for instant fame” and it was easy. It’s the hardest most enjoyable thing I have ever done. I love it, I love who I have become and how I have learned about streaming and being a person online. I have exposed myself to the world and I love it.

2. What have you found beneficial in streaming?

Meeting people, the community, the friends and having actual fans (which fucking blows my mind). All in all I am happy with all the amazing opportunities I have had.

3. What has been a deterrent in your streaming experience?

Confrontational people who are so willing to trash people but not really take the time to get to know them. I love a good troll, but I would rather see people work things through. Grow as a community and work beyond differences. I will always believe that streaming is something we all have to rise in together.

4. Do you think streaming as a career will continue to grow?

I would like to see myself staying as a hobbyist but becoming a member of the community in the actual work space; working for a company or bringing my IT/Project Management experience to an org/IP and benefiting the community from a more unique position. I love streaming, but it’s a great hobby. I would like to be a partner but I want to earn money working in an office, rather than slaving away in a corporate world where I do not feel I belong.

Superblake

https://mixer.com/superblake

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1. Streaming is sort of what I thought it would be. I grew up performing in live shows, so streaming to an audience seems like a natural fit, right? But forging those connections to small communities over the internet through a webcam is completely different.

2. Having a tight group of friends/mods. I don’t like thinking of them as ‘policing’ chat or games but a lot of the time to keep things enjoyable for everyone, it’s necessary. I also don’t think of chat as my audience, more like a group of friends over at my house causing a ruckus and having a good time.
3. Honestly a big deterrent is the cost/return of streaming as a whole. To have a good, not even great, but a good stream I think you should invest money into a proper mic, computer, graphics, etc. You can succeed and start out without that stuff but it’s important to improve your stream as a whole over time. And honestly, I spend 30-40 hours a week making consistent content for free for an audience that I actively try not to monetize. If you are getting into streaming to “get rich quick” you might want to make sure you don’t quit your day job.

4. I think streaming as a career isn’t sustainable. Eventually personalities will fall as new content rises and being a personality is a very limited time thing. Moving laterally from streaming into hosting, creating other content, even working in community management is always going to be a more long term move.

And always-

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https://cch217.wordpress.com/2018/10/30/question-of-the-hour-why-do-you-stream/

Question of the Hour: Why do you write?

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I asked this question knowing that I would get a variety of answers, however I don’t think I can answer this question of myself. Maybe I could someday but writing and ‘being a writer’ is a new concept for me. Yes, I wrote in High School, and College, but the choice to write on purpose, when I don’t need to is different. I’ve been doing this for three years now and it’s been a learning experience to say the least. Whether it’s Edna’s Kitchen or Detective Stories with Detective James Andrews I try to keep in mind that I write for myself, I write the content and stories that I want to read.

Here are some others that chose to be writers and their words of wisdom when asked: Why do you write?

   
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Marc Tizura

https://twitter.com/areyouingrenin?lang=en

https://marctizura.wordpress.com/

I write because I have these scenes and characters in my head playing things out. It looks like fun so I write down what they show me.

I get the satisfaction of getting out of my head no matter how strange the story maybe.

I would like to be published again like I was two years ago when I joined Twitter.

 
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Neil Christiansen

https://twitter.com/WriteGavinGayle?lang=en

http://www.gavingayle.com/

Why do I write?

I’m not really sure. It’s possible, I suppose, that I could just decide not to. That I could put away my pens and notebooks and laptop, close up my office, lock the door and never think about it again. I think I could do that if I wanted to. I’ve never felt a compulsion to write.

But I love stories. I love books and movies and television. I’ve always loved stories and good characters and plot and surprise. I love adventure and I love laughing, and when I experience a story, a good story, it makes me feel calm and takes away my stress and worry.

I love hearing stories and I love telling stories, and so writing just feels natural. It’s where I derive my zen. I may not be a great writer, or even a good writer, but I am a happy writer. I’m happier when I’m writing than any other time and so I go back to it. I go back whenever I can to find my place and be in my home and when I’m there I feel safe and peaceful and hopeful.

 

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Ann Muune

https://twitter.com/anamuune?lang=en

1) To appease the voices in my head.

2) To live a thousand lifetimes.

3) Hope to understand others better and entertain them for an evening.

 
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Scott Thompson

https://twitter.com/sthompsonauthor?lang=en

http://authorscottthompson.com/books/

I grew up daydreaming. Writing is a way for me to do something fun with that. Now I create new worlds and people. It’s also a thing that I do that feels right. I only feel right when I write.

 
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Autumn Faraday

https://twitter.com/AutumnFaraday?lang=en

I write because, as frustrating as it can be at times, there is great joy in putting together a well crafted story. Someday I hope to write one. Until then, I’ll keep plugging away!

I used to focus on traditional publication. I’d pitch ideas, query WIPs, send first threes or full MS. I got a nice collection of “No Thanks”.  I was pitching category romance and there were very specific guidelines. I thwarted the guidelines. They didn’t have so much an issue with the story, but the elements I included.

I don’t really expect to get anything out of my writing these days. I enjoy doing it for the sake of the story. The act of creation alone is worth it.

I look at these excursions and maintaining the skill level so that when I have THE idea that just knocks me out, I can give it my all and if I’m satisfied with the results, maybe I’ll query.

In fact, I do have such an idea that’s been rattling around in my head for a while, but it’s such an overwhelming thought I worry about my ability to do it justice.

 
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Marc Watson

https://twitter.com/writewatson?lang=en

http://flukyfiction.wixsite.com/publishing/ddp

Because I had stories to tell. It’s as simple as that.

 
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Ben Shelor

https://twitter.com/SeeBenWrite?lang=en

https://seebenwrite.wordpress.com/  

I write to live. I don’t think I’m me without writing. And obviously I want it to get me millions of dollars so I can buy an island and write more.

 
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J.D. Heart

https://twitter.com/HartshipJ?lang=en

http://www.dldbooks.com/jdhart/

I write to help others find the calm in their storm. I hope to write something people can relate to while helping them lose themselves in a world better than their own.

I also write to relieve myself of the weight my words bring. putting them on paper into a story is the only way to release the pain.

 

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Thank you to everyone that participated in our Question of the Hour, and check out their works. A few other notable writers that you can check out are:

https://twitter.com/MrsPaigeLavoie?lang=en

https://twitter.com/razumishin?lang=en

https://twitter.com/jjulienauthor?lang=en

https://twitter.com/jmsullivanbooks?lang=en

https://twitter.com/AlexKLogan?lang=en

 

Question of the Hour: Why do you stream?

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Updated Intro: Since I am going to be putting this around once again I had some thoughts. Something I have noticed lately after hanging out in a number of streams is that people are creatures of habit. Which I understand and having a community of loyal viewers is a wonderful thing, however reaching out and checking out other streamers on a weekly or monthly basis, I feel would help in community growth of both parties. Just my thoughts, I have been trying to expose different audiences to new streamers, but my reach is not what it could be if everyone checked out at least one new streamer a month. With that being said, I hear by introduce you to some new streamer.

It was fall of 2015 when I was introduced to a new streaming service called Beam. I hung out on streams and modded for a few friends, I even gave streaming a try once, it wasn’t really my thing. But I did enjoy being a part of other streaming communities.

As all things do everyday life took over shortly after, it has only been in the last six months that I have gotten back to watching and participating in streaming communities on what is now Mixer and Twitch. I became part of Constantly Calibrating’s ( https://twitter.com/ConCalPod ) community because of their E3 coverage, and a recommendation from a friend. A question came up recently and it peaked my curiosity so I figured I would ask a handful of streamers that I enjoy watching on both Mixer and Twitch; Why do you stream?   

Before we dive into their answers a Streamer is someone that live streams creative content, be it video games, tutorials, art projects or discussions.

I asked everyone the same three questions;

Why do you stream?

What do you get out of it?

Where do you see it going?

Without further adieu I give you their answers and profile information so that you can check them out.
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Josh Silverman:

https://mixer.com/ConCalPod

https://twitter.com/BearPunch

Why do you stream?

Originally I didn’t understand why people streamed. This was maybe 4-5 years ago and for the life of me I couldn’t understand the concept. Sure, I watched and made let’s play content for YouTube, but watching someone live and unedited? How absurd!

We then started doing Constantly Calibrating Podcast episodes live, because my team pushed me to do it. While they were an absolute clusterfuck to put together, I noticed bits of myself “unlocking”, for lack of a better term. After a couple of years of that structure I began branching out into my own solo streaming efforts. It was in this that I found a new part of myself, one desiring to connect with people and to open myself up to them.

So, the tl;dr version would be that I stream because I love to converse with people, anyone really. That venue is special to me and makes me happy to be a part of someone’s morning, afternoon, evening, or middle of the night experience.

What do you get out of it?

Similar to my previous answer, what I get from streaming is the ability to connect with new and interesting people. While we have our regulars in chat, I never know who is going to stroll through that metaphorical door into my life. Streaming has opened many doors for me as well, and showed me a side of myself I didn’t know existed. I now see myself as a host and a leader, where most of my life I was a follower, or believed myself as such.

Where do you see it going?

As far as my own career in streaming, I don’t think I’ll ever be one of the major well-known names. I don’t need to be, so I’m not really pursuing that. Ultimately I see myself and Constantly Calibrating grouping up and working with others who think like us – the people searching for passionate, engaging, diverse content – to build something bigger than us. What I would love to do is to help people to discover and pursue their own passions, just like others (Brittney Brombacher, Ashnichrist, etc) have done for me.

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RyDaddyEff:

https://mixer.com/RyDaddyEff

https://twitter.com/RyDaddyEff

I stream because I like to have fun with my friends and if other people like to join in and become friends, I feel like that’s a pretty cool way of communing.

I honestly am not sure what I get out of it other than being able to laugh and joke with my friends. I guess it also gives me a chance to visually see people I don’t get to on a regular basis.

Personally, I don’t see myself as a professional game streamer per se now or in the future. I enjoy creating entertainment content and streaming is just one avenue to be able to achieve that goal. Streaming is big now and will be from now on, for sure, though. I enjoy being a part of a team, but if I weren’t I’m not sure I’d put as much into it.

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SomeBeardy2Love:

https://mixer.com/SomeBeardy2Love

https://twitter.com/SomeBeardy2Love

I stream for fun and for my magazine because we think the fans like it.

I just like having a comfortable zone for people to come and hang out and watch games. Both major AAAs and little indies.

I guess I’m not looking for it to go anywhere crazy. Even if I have 10 regulars that like me enough to just come hang with me that’s good enough for me. I do it because I enjoy being on camera and video games are my life. I like sharing my passions with others.

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MrCmh93:

https://mixer.com/MrCmh93

https://twitter.com/Castingfortwo

Why Do I stream: I stream because I want to challenge myself to create content by myself.

What do I get out of it: I’ve always been amazed by stand up comedians that can go in front of people and just be funny. That is how I see streaming.

Where do I see myself going: I’m really happy to have found a group that likes to play similar games. It really nice being able to play and stream with friends. It reminds me of the old split screen days.

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OGXanos:

https://mixer.com/OGXanos

https://twitter.com/OGXanos

I stream cause I like the interactivity of it. It reminds me of sitting in the floor with my buddy as a kid having someone to play off and make fun of silly little things we find in the game. I don’t think I’ll ever get ‘streamer famous’ but I wouldn’t complain if it happened.

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The Last Mage:

https://mixer.com/TheLastMage

https://twitter.com/lastmagetv

Why do you stream?

When I first started streaming I was doing it to try to make it a career. I think a lot of people, if not most, start out this way. Some find their crowd and this thought process continues. For me, I tend to stream a lot of indie games, rpgs, and lesser known titles that, naturally, don’t get the number of eyes that battle royale games may get. I started to realize after many months of beating myself up over numbers, that in the end it’s about the people who show every day to support you and have fun.

So, (this will be an unpopular opinion for many partnered streamers) I’ve stopped looking at this as a career. It’s a community to me, and I don’t expect to earn back even a tiny bit of what I put into it. My entire goal is to put a few smiles on peoples faces, be there for them when they run into tough times, and to build a community that persists even when I’m not online. My goal is to try to remember what everyone is doing outside of the stream, to check up on them after difficult school tests, and just generally be there for people.

What do you get out of it?

I’m at around 3 years of streaming now, and it’s helped me in many different ways. Many of these I never saw coming and could never have predicted. First, of course, I’ve made a ton of friends. I’ve met many of them at conventions in person and it’s comforting to know that many of them would have my back if something ever happened. I’m not talking about fist fights or online arguments, but serious things like money issues or medical issues. These are true friends and just like the friends that live near you, they’ll support you if you run into tough times.

More than that, after working on Firebot for so long I’ve met many talented developers who have taken me under their wing and taught me a ton. My actual career skills have improved significantly because of that. Also, I’ve learned a lot about just general social situations. I’m a VERY introverted guy and streamer has taught me how to step out of that shell. It’s taught me how to have a fruitful conversation with nearly anyone about nearly anything.

Where do you see it going?

Well, that’s a really hard thing for me to predict. As I said at the start, because of the games I tend to stream I don’t see the stream skyrocketing in numbers or turning into a career anytime soon. But, what I would like to do is grow enough to get new eyes on some of the mostly underplayed games out there.

Other than that, I hope that the stream continues to grow and that the community continues to build with it. It’s a very hard thing being a PC / PS4 streamer on a service almost entirely built around Xbox, but I still feel I’ve made the right choice. I’ve made too many great friends for it to have been a bad thing. I just hope Mixer continues to expand, continues to push the idea that it is a multi-platform system, and continues to innovate. Then, sooner or later, I think that indie crowd / RPG crowd will show.

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Kitty_haz_Claws:

https://mixer.com/Kitty_haz_Claws

https://twitter.com/Kitty_Haz_Claws

Why do you stream?

like most people, I love playing video games, I was introduced to Twitch by a friend of mine who said to me, hey this guy is streaming and if he gets 10 viewers he’s going to buy a pizza for someone in the chat! So of course I went to watch; who doesn’t love free pizza! Needless to say, he lied about the pizza, and he was horrible at entertaining the chat. I instantly thought, holy buckets.. this guy (the streamer) is sooo bad, I can do this SO MUCH BETTER. So, I did a little research and started up he next week! Needless to say, I ended up being a lot better than him.

What do you get out of it?

I get to be social with people, be a daily part of their lives and truly get to know people. I love being able to start up a stream and truly making an impact on someone’s life. I was sent a PM few years back how someone in my community was thinking about suicide but ended up in my stream, and ended up changing their mind because I reminded them that life is always in motion, every day is a new chance at life and it’s okay to feel down.  

Where do you see it going?

I’ve been a partner for over 3 years, so you really can’t get much bigger than that; but I absolutely love showcasing unique indie games that I find. I love being able to play the weird and bizarre. I hope more devs figure out that I’m Mixer’s Indie Game Streamer and together we can work on showcasing their beautiful and weird games. 🙂

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PieRatKing:

https://mixer.com/PieRatKing

https://twitter.com/PieRatKing

Why do you stream?

I stream because I want to share the enjoyment of video games with others, and I have always enjoyed entertaining people. And I am freaking hilarious!!! j/k

What do you get out of it?

Filling a hole deep inside of me through the feeding of my narcissism? No, but really I get to entertain people, meet people, talk about things I love, and a sense of accomplishment. Along with learning skills that I have always wanted to, video editing, graphic design, animation: these are all things I have only learned because I have been streaming

Where do you see it going?

A household name, a statue in downtown Houston, and millions of dollars… no, I see it going to a place where I can sustain myself but also offer me different avenues to share my opinions, and other crafts with people that it may not have before. Believe me we all wish we could be six figure content creators, but most of us just want to do something we enjoy doing and be able to sustain ourselves.

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Justin Glorious:

https://mixer.com/JustinGlorious

https://twitter.com/Justin_Glorious

https://www.twitch.tv/Justin_Glorious

Why do you stream?

Seemed like a good idea at the time. My favorite job, not the best job by any stretch, is when I started at Gamestop. Really after some time getting used to front line retail. I love talking about video games and sharing my experience. I honestly need to find a better way to portray that, but that is a major part of why I do it. To share my gaming experience and talk gaming or the industry in general. Sadly with my turnouts, this really doesn’t happen.

What do you get out of it?

I honestly could not tell you right now. I would like it to be the reason above, but again…I really do not have a great turn out, granted most of that is on me.

Where do you see it going?

Same, I really don’t know. I would love to get enough recognition where I fulfilled that desire to have a community to talk to. I also would like to help build others up or give advice to anyone trying to get started in any career I tipped a toe into. I would love to be a recognizable personality that is known to be approachable and help others reach their goals.

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SuperBlake:

https://mixer.com/superblake

https://twitter.com/superblake_01

Why do you stream?

I stream because it’s the exact same attitude I normally have when playing games and I’ve always like entertaining people. It also gives me a chance to connect with and talk to people, which I genuinely enjoy.

What do you get out of it?

Honestly? Next to nothing beyond personal satisfaction. My goal is to provide an entertaining environment for people to chill out in and watch some cool games. Obviously I have stuff like Meaty Boiz Esports which is a little more involved than that (competitive esports requires a lot of off stream work), but I don’t get paid to do this. I have as much fun as I can and try to play as many video games as I can, for as many people that want to hang out!

Where do you see it going?

I see streaming being the next big internet content machine. Live content creation is a super strong medium and it provides a unique experience for the audience, so there’s not a lot there to slow it down. For me personally? I’d love it if I could say I was a professional gaming personality, with my primary content coming from my streams. It’s already an awesome thing to get to do every day, but if I could somehow get paid to do it and develop a marketable corner of the internet for myself that’d be fucking fantastic too.

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Sithos:

https://mixer.com/Sithos

https://twitter.com/Sithos_?lang=en

So the primary reason I stream is for social fulfillment. Before I streamed I was relatively anti-social, but through streaming I was able to develop my social skills to the point where I have even done things like run 20+ person team meeting for various jobs I have held.

What I get out of streaming, is something that I can be truly passionate about and really develop my skills and talents on a consistent basis. It gives me something to look forward to on a weekly basis and makes my life much more enjoyable.

As far as where do I see it going, I can only hope that this will one day lead to being something I can focus on full time and comfortable pay my bills/support my family. Up until this point, that hasn’t quite been the case, but I am proud of what I have accomplished so far and do see the potential for that to happen at some point. For now I am continuing to strive to improve in the hopes I can hopefully make that occur sooner rather than later.

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The Computer Guy:

https://mixer.com/TheComputerGuy

https://twitter.com/ComputerGuySTL

Why do you stream?

Well I stream because I like helping people and I got into streaming because I saw Revision 3 do an Extra Life charity and I knew that’s what I wanted to do to help, stream to raise money for kids.

What do you get out of it?

I get to meet great people. Some while I stream and some in the community around streaming. Mixer is probably my favorite community of streamers because they are so open to pretty much any streamers. They also work hard to keep people who want to me malicious out of their community.

Where do you see this going?

Honestly, since I’m not doing it for personal money I’ll be doing this until I physically can’t any more. I love to help and I’ll keep doing it until I can’t any more. Again, it’s not about me but about the message I’m trying to spread.

On a side note:

Distriktt ( https://twitter.com/D1striktt ) and The Computer Guy ( https://twitter.com/ComputerGuySTL ) ran a weekly computer tech show, that you can checkout here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4gZZ55kA6Q    

 

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The Cutwright:

https://www.twitch.tv/Cutwright

https://twitter.com/The_Cutwright?lang=en

Why do I stream? I would say that I began streaming with a concept of wanting to be famous. It was a very short-sighted and dimwitted approach to being online. I didn’t give it enough thought and truly thought it would be spontaneous and lucky.

Over the years I’ve learned that streaming is one of the most difficult and fulfilling hobbies I’ve ever had. I spend most of my time now streaming for the sake of encouraging other people to get online. Streaming to try and promote community and growth. I’d like to think now I stream to try to be part of something bigger than myself.

As far as to what I get out of it, that’s very simple. I enjoy what I do and find fulfillment in accomplishing goals that I set out for myself. Whether it’s to finish a game, make art for someone, or simply have a conversation with a complete stranger. I enjoy the things that I accomplished while streaming, as well as making friends and meeting people.

Where do I see streaming going? I don’t know really. I would love to work within the industry, some form of Community Management, program management, or maybe even working for Twitch itself. I will say that right now I’m taking it day-by-day letting the adventure be what it is, an adventure. It’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve done in a few years and I can say that I’m definitely not quitting anytime soon.

 

A huge Thank You to everyone that participated, I appreciate your openness in your responses. Take a moment to check out each of these wonderful individuals, creating content and live streaming is not always an easy thing.

by Megan Hinde

P.S. New Streamers To Check Out

https://mixer.com/Cheeky_Chaz-94

https://mixer.com/TastyLemons

https://mixer.com/StormtheBard

https://mixer.com/BVR

 

 

 

That One Person…

Finalmusicdraft

Have you had that one person, you know that one person that connects to you on a level you never knew possible. Someone that you respect, admire and enjoy being around. For me this person is in the form of my choir teacher, Mrs. Carolyn Soderlund. From the first time we meet, till the last time we said goodbye, the lessons learned in her class room not only stick with you but shape who you become.

I first meet a pregnant Mrs. Soderlund when she came to the junior high to listen to us sing, to be placed into choir classes for high school. The individual attention given and her kindness, always so welcoming.

Fast forward to the beginning of my sophomore year, when I had Mrs. Soderlund not only for choir but for speech class as well. I remember having to give a speech about my dad, after he had suffered his first heart attack. Being able to do that speech in a familiar, comfortable room with classmates I knew and trusted made all the difference.

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Then having the opportunity to not only go to New York City, but to perform in Carnegie Hall, was so worth the weekends spent fundraising in the mall with Watkins vanilla. The memories made during the New York trip are priceless and life altering, the sight seeing, the two Broadway shows, (Grand Hotel, *which we all napped through* and The Secret Garden), walking up the inside of the Statue of Liberty, and of course all of Carnegie Hall.

Then there was All State, and Christmas Caroling, Concerts and Graduation. Mrs. Soderlund was always there to listen, understand, help each and everyone of her students. It was a privilege as well as an honor to study music and life under Mrs. Carolyn Soderlund. 

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